Just a moment (Nov11)

in this moment of still I find
a slot of peace
just a small one and a moment in time
were I can express my thoughts
toys crash in the background
and machine moans its load
baby swallows and sucks
small hand caressing my fleece gown
something is being dragged along the floor
kicked by a young mind
who's bored

Here I am

Here I am
I was told and did not quite understand until I was looking and found
A comfort indescribable
A love inconceivable
A spiritual commitment that reached far beyond human comprehension
Like awaking into a room of deep darkness suddenly being flooded with light
I finally understood
A love that overwhelms my soul with warmth and a comfort that holds tight and lets go never
Forever shinning smiled filled thoughts in moments of sadness
The calming soft voice in the mist of life’s madness

 A love that falls down suddenly
 Heavy with the presence of the almighty
A welcoming love that waits with arms open wide and says
My child come
Be still
You can cry…
You can utter sobbed words you may not understand
My love is acceptance next to you I will stand
Be free stay with me be the best that I want you to be
Made with love made by God you are a sure creation
Birthed into this world eyes looked at you in loves fascination
Known since formed in the womb you are loved

God is love and the hand that guides in the right direction
Foot stepping through the valleys of shadows
And drought
And doubt
And conviction
And mistakes drown in guilt and condemnation
And the days of dodging the voice of love that whispers
I love you stop running
Love is grace and the patience in the growth towards Christlikeness
And the opportunity to start again in Christianity
In forgiveness that love is the blood power that creates a new chapter
Taking away pre salvation insanity
Birthed into a love church love unity love community

God is love and love is God and through God love can be found
Transforming ourselves into vessels of love
Used by God to bring messages of love
Love to a neighbor, a friend, a complete stranger
Like Jesus befriending the tax collector
To walk the path of kindness and show compassion
And live with a passion for those in need
Those who don’t believe
Those you may not understand
Who need an ear to listen
A shoulder to cry on Someone to rely upon
A heart felt hello in times of loneliness
A helping hand to share life’s burden with
Called to love and bring the gift of love
Here I am
You will say Its time for me to share my love
Here I am….

Baby carrying

Conversations relating to the feeling of carrying a child
I smile not recalling the aches and pain
But the growth inside moving and breathing
Craving the comfort of mums singing voice
My friend speaks of her tiredness
With fears of child birth
I reassure with a smile as I cannot wait to see this boy child
To smell his head and stroke patterns on his palm
Feeling his breath cry on my chin...

As the sun sets and the cool of the eve says hello
I reflect on the day and its emotional mixture
The tensions and frustrations
A mind on the path of trying to chill

Thoughts of me and my Christianity talk
The hardness of me and the world seem lost
In a bubble
A part of me wish that I can sit forever on the presence
No longer a part of this world

A saturday evening at home

A breeze kisses the upper arm of me and I feel at chill
Sitting in dusk light feeling the hush tones of a film
It's been a long time...
Pause lips touch the glass rim and I sip
... since I've been in the mood of investing in the relationship
Of love making
Combining my thoughts to skin to jumbled A-B-C
And giving freely to cyber space
I feel content as a beat moves me through within
A burst of inspiration hopefully putting to death a season
It is time for a new thing...

A slight distraction of conversation
Drawing me away at the same time towards
This thing that I am currently doing
Towards in a sense its about my poetry
Away because a flow of thought changed direction
A butterfly touch passes by and kisses my shoulders
I watch as crunchy nut corn flakes enters through lips
I smile and take another sip...

A blocked writter

First moment of dawn the cloak of business covers
Already its warmth over takes and consume signs of restfulness
Thoughts...

I cannot continue I am stuck in a moment of blockness and am awaiting for a burst of inspiration and motivation and subjects that touch the matters of my heart. I am crying to write as writing for a very long time has been the breath in my life. There have been times where I have walked on dry desserts sands with no water just surviving as best as I can. I know it is a season and that once through it an extra layer of depth will be added to the writer part of me. I suppose I should feel excited, I am not as I am unsure how long this season will last and I can only rely on hopeful expectations that may or may not happen. I thought that starting a blog would motivate and renew me, yet again I unsure if that is the case. I do feel a pull to keep updating and write into am empty space. And I am quite surprise that I find myself stuck and unable to write. It can be argued I am writing and this post proves it. But it only points to the fact that I have the ability to write my thoughts which does not, I feel, explore my creativity that can be portrayed, I feel, through my poetry. And I still feel stuck. Until next time.

Me

Me is a person resting in a bed of rhythmical flowery and dreaming dreams of entering a new chapter in life. Me is a female with ideas consuming a mind thats always reflecting and right now is moving towards destiny untold yet unknown. Me is a wife floating in love wearing a band with pride and forever linked to a soulmate who embraces and accecpts and loves the other half of me. I thank God for him. Me is a mothering who understands what it means to give birth and re-changing goals to give my best to this little person. This is me.

ButterFLY Dreams

soft kisses touch me so warmly
causing a state of reflection to rise then fall
a butterfly flies teasing the sun
and dancing amongst leaves and their branches

i smile as I take time to think about dreaming
its goals and never ending need for refocusing
and planning
sometimes flying away and becoming just a butterfly dream

Trapped with Thoughts Confusion

I sit here wondering about this feeling that I feel
Trying to understand what it means
Does it mean that I need a change of life
Or my mindset shifted in the relms of something more postive
I just dont know
I dont know why I feel this
I dont know how to rid its stench and I dont know
How this peice of writting is going to end
But I write
Just need to express and think and organise my thoughts wild
I don't appologise for you not understanding my mess
It is mine
My space and my time
My life
My poetry ryhme

The ticking clock

The year of being at home with my son is coming to an end. The realities of work and making money faces me after this weekend and for some strange reason I feel at peace. I was expecting to be an emotional wreak, wondering around in a daze as I count down the days. Hair unkempt. Body unwashed. Living in my dressing gown from morning to night. But I am not. I thought that introducing my son to the 'nursery world' would have me crying and banging down the doors of the nursery, rushing in as if my life depends upon it and saving him from the dirty clutches of his key worker. But it hasn't. I have glided into the change of routine and welcomed it. I thank God for that. I must admit that I am anxious of the management of the different elements of my life. I am not looking forward to rushing to and from work or nursery like a headless chicken. And I do hate the feeling of being 'forced' back into work, however, I do feel the need of going out there again and don't think I will be able to stay-at-home five days a week. Maybe just three? Its is Sunday and the clock for me is fast-forwarding its ticking...tick, tock...