I am naked

Sound poem for 'I am naked' 

Naked I stand in unashamed celebration of self unabashed barefaced

Pushing up mouth and firming a screw face

Not giving a… to what you think of me

Window gazing me like I be a mannequin wearing something sexy putting it out there for the whole world to see

Google me

Judging me falsely accusing me incorrectly

Dressing me wrongly in black and white stripes

A convict untruly

On trial for embracing every single cell that makes up me

I am naked

Let your eyes examine me searching lustfully

The curve of my hips

The shape of my lips

The thunder steps of my thighs

The place on my collar bone to plant that kiss

The timbre of my voice

The laughter in my gaze

The way my mind thinks and analyse life

The things that make me tick

The brick falling tears in moments of sadness

The way my mouth smiles in times of gladness.

Listen to the rhythms of my heart

It’s the beating African drum sounding through mountains

Feet stamping two-stepping bare feet on dusty grounds

Pot lids clashing symbol bashing sounds

In bed it’s the soft snores harmonising lullabies’

Here is my nakedness

Admire the imperfections that pattern my skin uniquely exclusively

Floral wall papering

Black ink typed on newspaper sheets

Read me

Birthday suited and unhidden by make up places

Spaces of vulnerability I lay bare

Know me truly

Justly question every aspect of me

Assessing my abilities.

Stroking my deficiencies’

Labelling my limitations because society doesn’t understand or accept me

Unloved

Rejected

Impossible to recycle and squash into the box you feel you need to put me

My needs neglected not part of the agenda

Dehumanised into a commodity

An article of trade for you to sell me

Meaningless it seems my life

Ears closed to words that would cut deeply through me

Dividing flesh and bone

If I accept it forcefully

Watch me fly high in the sky

And be someone clothed with an unexplainable greatness   

Doing above and beyond imagined and dreamed

Naked am I

And with it myself brings a butterfly beautiful individual

Internally and emotionally dancing inside me

Loving endless flaws that have haunted my existence

Becoming my eternity

Infinity

Slicing through time aging sharply with me

Becoming me

My blemishes enabling fulfilment and  

Blissfully making me

Embracing those parts unseen by others

Forgotten not by self but knowingly remembering who I be

Look at me and admire my nakedness

Take in every inch of me

And learn to understand me

Shhh.... hear my song

It whispers through the trees and dances on an autumn breeze

It freezes with morning drew and falls with brunt red leaves

It believes and sees the beyond and hopes and expects and captures peace

It sighs 

It pauses 

It murmurs ‘look at me’

Copyright © 2016 Sonneteer Articulates (aka Traysi Matthew, Traysi Speaks) 

All rights reserved. No portion of this post may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or by otherwise without the express written permission from Sonneteer Articulates (aka Traysi Matthew, Traysi Speaks)

Tick Tock

Sound poem for 'tick tock'

I watch the second hand slowly tick tock transforming each second into an hour and I stand still. I am so confused and I wait for the unknown and allow the uncertainties and anxieties to flood me completely clouding my judgement as it consumes me entirely,

I feel like my time is almost up.

That this is the beginning of the end and I close my eyes and see my life flash before me, childhood years merging into teenage tears, 

Glorious rebirth, wedding bells bliss, laughter and baby cries and the endless sighs.

This feels like the end. With someone there in the shadows holding a gun to my head playing Russian roulette with my life like I'm a game board and in-between the trigger being pulled and barrel going bang all I hear is tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

The sentence of my life is all mudded up and the full stop is not where it should be. Surely there is more to me and my life story. Chapters waiting to be written with endless plots and conflicts and me as the main character aiming for my goals.

But I am frozen, not stuck in the realms of make belief of Walt Disney, I am glued into a place for what seems to be an eternity.

And all I want to do is let it go, let it go, let it go...

This feeling  that’s stopping me from being in the place  I know I should be. And each time I try to break free all hear echoing into the hollows of my eardrum is the sounds of tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

For months I have been daily placing a brick in front of me allowing the wall to be built up, it standing about 20 feet tall. A true work of art, I had no idea I was such a great builder. It stops me from going anywhere and does not allow anything to enter in. Nothing is invading my personal world. The wall is my sugar coated comfort zone, a welcoming barrier disabling my ability to make informed decisions. The easy way out that allows me to be in a state of drift, sitting on the fence watching my feet walk down wrong paths unknown.

With each brick that I place the voice of God fades a bit more and a bit more. The time bomb ticks louder ready to blow up the era where I walked with God, talked with God, listened intently with my heart and mind to the words of God.

Before each brick there’s a tick, followed by a tock, before each brick kisses a brick there’s a tick- tock, instead of the sound of stone hitting stone when bricks clash there is the ticking clock and like a comic with sound effects in speech bubbles, the sound effects of my bricks flashes white before me shouting tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock

My secure wall feels so sure right next to me, so close I smell the earthy-ness of each brick and the soil of its birth, flashing me back in time to visions of unknown hands forming each bar. I feel myself becoming one with it, in love with it, intertwined passionately like lovers refusing to part, with it. It is then I discover I’ve allowed it, this wall and the space within to become my world.

Each time I hear tick-tock vibrating in my brain it drives me insane in the membrane. Trapped and internally caged, emotionally imprisoned, I am enraged. I just want to scream like Janet and Michael Jackson trapped in their monochrome spaceship world as the place within the realms of my wall evaporates. Once my protector, the wall circles me like a predator not the one that versus aliens more like the one called Mufust that hunts in strife modem behind the scenes, planning and watching and waiting and lusting.

I’m its prey and its time for me to be devoured, consumed into its acids that will burn my life away. I am trying to run but the wall steals my breath away like a boa constrictor it slides into place and begins to tighten, slowly suffocating my life away.

I close my eyes and let a tear escape in a cry for help, my lips part silently, slowly, dehydration dryness covers each syllable, as I mouth words confidently and fearfully. Help me to break free, I believe.

Copyright © 2016 Sonneteer Articulates (aka Traysi Matthew, Traysi Speaks) 

All rights reserved. No portion of this post may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted, in any form or any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or by otherwise without the express written permission from Sonneteer Articulates (aka Traysi Matthew, Traysi Speaks)